1st of January..Year 1997..then again in the Year 1998..
"Moi gohin hom!!!" The first sentence on the ruled sheet pasted on the little 'Notice-area' right in front of my study table.
The words translated from Assamese into English mean something similar to "I will be more calm and reserved".
But what the little school-girl in me actually meant was "I will be less talkative..I will jump around a bit less..I will not keep chatting with everyone around when I am wide awake..at least I will be a bit less of a chatterbox!!!" The list went long. But this single(and really not simple!!) resolution was what I could never fullfil..till this date!!! Even today, I can make you wonder "How does this girl talk so breathlessly???"
No prizes for guessing the secret of my energetic..endless talks..my hard-work and perseverance since my childhood days..blah!blah!! Blah!! I have been a non-stop FM!!!
And then someday, quite unceremoniously, that resolution was dropped from my list of "OUGHT TO"s..As for now, I have stopped making resolutions for changing myself..Got the divine realization that AM THE BEST as I am!!!
So..2010 has not seen me making any hard-core promises to myself or anyone else.. I have begun my New Year Night at the Life Line Hospital.. attendant to a friend of mine..hmmm..was I sad? Nope..not at all..may be it was a grand start..to be able to stand by my friend when she needed me..(coincidentally even last year's new Year day I was at the same hospital..with another of my friends admitted..sometimes I wonder if that was God's way of saying you shall be blessed all throughout the year..)
But then..I do have a small little talk to myself now and then..on few wishes I nurture within my heart..not especially a Year-Plan kind-of..its kinda Life-Plan which I keep developing each day..adding and subtracting points and views as I walk through the path of life..
From the Year 2008 into January 2009..I did carry happy images in my heart but I also recall the deep shades of grief and miseries which had made my heart heavy at times..nothing at all that's personal,which I can label as "MINE"..but a lot that's "OURS"..the media images of the Mumbai attacks..burning through me at the thought of the how inhuman a human can turn out to be..the Assam blasts..the blood and insecurity all over India..This year too saw bloodsheds..the blasts killing innocents..injustice..regional divides turning violent..India is not shining..INDIA IS BURNING..everywhere there are tears..everything soaked in blood..it pains..it pains a lot somewhere deep within..
People are yet to realise the power they hold to bring in the positive change..This new year, I want to be the part of the change I want to see..may I succeed in taking at least a small step towards my own freedom from the bondage of a "comfortable and secured life"..somewhere within I feel the urge to break the bonds of the conventional 'so-called normal' lifestyle and go in search of FREEDOM..
The Dhanush..Chandrayaan..the NSG commandos..people rising up to ask for their rights..the ones waking up to help others rise..they make my eyes go moist..they add to my pride in MY PEOPLE..MY NATION..I wish to see that pride be more heightened..the feeling of responsibility grow deeper..and be a direct tool in that process..
No resolutions especially for 1st of January 2010..but lots of hope..to be able to take a step towards a better tomorrow..
May we all be blessed..